Drains and spills, soaks the pages, fills their sponges

Once upon a time I used to be a blood donor. You know, civic duty and all that.

That is until:

1. I went to Syria (malaria risk).

2. I flew over the Tigris and Euphrates basins in Turkey (malaria risk). Yep, flew over.

3. I was found out for being British. Owing to mad cow disease, English blood is not wanted. That counted me out from donating in the US and, as I found out this morning, in Austria too.

Keeping blood safe. A good thing that. Sucks to be a pariah though, unless you’re Jack de la Beanstalk: “fee, fi ,fo, fum, I smell the blood of an…oh, nevermind.”