The American Throne

headlife readers will know of my loathing of knee-jerk anti-American snobbery. So, it is with a feeling of hypocrisy that I present to the world this wonderful example of “only in America” Americana: the padded toilet seat, bought by my parents in Florida and now providing warm, cushiony comfort to English bottoms in Malvern.

I have not seen any padded toilet seats for sale in the UK, so file this under creature comforts for large Floridian behinds.

Actually, I’m not sneering. Really. Just as I love drive-thru banking, I love the way Americans un-self-consciously go about making life easier. As something to sit on in the cold of winter and read the paper, this beautiful thing makes life easier, dammit. My arse thanks you, America.



  1. Can we refer to this as “Florida bashing”? I mean granted, Florida IS America, but it’s a distinct subset of Americana and I like to stand as far as possible from its corpulent backside.


  2. Actually, the answer is central heating. This means that everything in the flat/house is warm And I know not why folk have to bash old dudes (Florida is full of them I am told). They aint gonna be around much longer. When you are old, you can show the world how to be both old AND cool. I am proud to love America. I have since I was ten in 1950. I loved them at the pictures and on AFN. They are us, writ large. The best of the British Isles went there and did what we could have done here except for the fuddy duddy ee-by-gum, cor-blimey-gov and what-ho stay-at-home wimps. (Just like me. Damn.)


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