The Onion: Nation’s Poor Win Election For Nation’s Rich

From The Onion:

Buddy Kaldrin was one of many who listed moral issues among their primary reasons for voting Republican.

“My family’s been suffering ever since I lost my job at the screen-door factory, and I haven’t seen a doctor for well on four years now,” said father of four Buddy Kaldrin of Eerie, CO. “Sh*t, I don’t even remember what a dentist’s chair looks like… Basically, I’d give up if it weren’t for God’s grace. So it’s good to know we have a president who cares about religion, too.”

Kaldrin added: “That’s why I always vote straight-ticket Republican, just like my daddy did, before he lost the farm and shot himself in the head, and just like his daddy did, before he died of black-lung disease in the company coal mines.”

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